Here we go:
I'm battling a terrible bout of insecurity with regard to my writing right now. Yup. Those people who think writing gets easier after you've had a few books published are wrong. Either that or they're cyborgs with infinite amounts of creativity who can type day and night without requiring things like sleep or food.
I am not a cyborg.
The latest insecurity crushing my spirit is that I've run out of gas, I've used up all my creativity on the books I've already written and have nothing left in me.
This, of course, is a ridiculous load of crap. But still, it's what's been plaguing me at night while I lay in bed. It's what's kept me from moving past chapter one in my latest suspense novel (I keep deleting everything and starting over.)
Truth be told, I think my writing has grown by leaps and bounds over the past year, so the stuff I'm deleting isn't garbage, it just isn't right. Am I making sense?
I've been quite vocal about my being a panster. I don't plot, and instead let the story unfold organically as I write. I like this. It's worked for me for the past four books. Yet, for some reason, I can't seem to dive into my new project without knowing everything that's going to happen. Well...almost everything, anyway. I'm not sure if this is caused by my crippling fear of not being able to "get it right", or just a natural change in my writing journey.
Are there any other reformed pansters out there? Anyone who normally writes by the seat of their pants who now feels the need to plan ahead, to know where they are going?
I have to share with you. I'm feeling a little conflicted about this plotter/panster stuff. It's like I'm crossing over to the dark side or something. Ssshhh...don't go over there with those plotters. You may never come back!!
Do your writing habits stay the same, or do they change with each book you write?