Thursday, July 21, 2011

Writing Your Life with author Kasi Alexander


Writing your life

They say that almost every first novel is autobiographical, to some extent. I don’t doubt that it’s true. The purpose of literature, after all, is to reflect on life and expand our horizons by peeking into someone else’s experiences, even if they’re fictional. We all color our reading and our writing with our own viewpoints and attitudes.

So what happens when your lifestyle is unconventional? Writing about sex and relationships can be unsettlingly intimate (“Have you really done that??”) to begin with, but when you sit down to write about an unusual relationship dynamic or a controversial way of life, it adds whole new levels of complexity.

First, you must decide how anonymous you want your writing to be. In my case, I am polyamorous (if you’re not familiar with the term, it means having more than one romantic relationship) and I live in a power exchange lifestyle (often referred to as kinky, leather or BDSM, although those are much broader categories). When I set out to describe my lifestyle in a novel, I wanted it to be educational. I wanted to show people that fundamentalist Mormons are not the only ones who believe it’s possible to be in open, honest, responsible sexual relationships with more than one person. I also wanted to increase awareness of power exchange and show that it is not abuse or the sign of a weak mind or low self-esteem (of course, as with any relationship, there are abusive and exploitative cases as well). So I needed to be open and honest about my own lifestyle in order to show that I did know what I was writing about.

The problem is that I have a full-time, vanilla day job and a boss who is extremely disapproving of my choices. I have also chosen not to tell my mother or siblings about my writing career. This causes a little stress and creates the need to keep my two identities very separate. And then there is the fact that there are  people who know me personally who are reading my book and seeing my emotional and sexual “confessions.” That is not as unsettling as I expected it to be, but there is a certain amount of vulnerability that you feel when someone picks up your book and begins leafing through it. Not to mention when they post reviews online!

So far I haven’t had much backlash or nasty criticism, although I know realistically there are many people who will not like my writing or my beliefs. But most people are inherently nice and try to be positive. I appreciate the supportive comments I have received and the openmindedness with which the book has been received so far. I’ve made a choice about being as public as I can with my lifestyle and it’s bound to be an interesting path!

About the author: (Taken from Goodreads)

Kasi Alexander's debut novel, Becoming sage, is the first installment in The Keyhole Series. An active member of the BDSM community, Kasi brings a true-to-life realism to her writing. This is not traditional erotica, but the series offers an intimate look into the lives of the men and women who live the BDSM lifestyle, in particular, the Master/slave dynamic.


Blurb taken from Goodreads:

With a failed marriage behind her, Jill Marten was looking to start a new chapter in her life. She had no idea that running into her old friend, Jessie, would unlock a whole new world. When she accepts Jessie's invitation to a party, in order to "try something completely different," it awakens a need to discover her place in a new community. Jessie, also known as sunni, is a submissive slave who is in a loving relationship with her Master, Sir Rune. When Rune and sunni ask Jill to be a part of their family, Jill begins her journey into submission, bondage, and polyamory, even as she questions everything that she has been taught about love and relationships. She begins to face her own desires and fears as she struggles with feelings of jealousy, inadequacy, and self-worth. Once she opens the door to a life she never imagined, a peek through the keyhole is no longer enough, and she must learn what it means to become sage. 

You can find Becoming Sage at the following places:



12 comments:

Judy said...

Congrats on your first release!! Looks really good!!

Judy
magnolias_1[at]msn[dot]com

Jennifer Lane said...

Hi Kasi, I didn't realize your family was unaware of your writing. That would present some layers of complexity in your life. I know how useful journaling can be and I hope that writing about your life allowed much reflection and growth.

Nicki Elson said...

Well, I can definitely add to that statistic about a first novel being autobiographical---er, sort of. Setting and several minor elements are real, overall plot line not.

I agree, it's a little unsettling to know so many people we know personally are looking inside of us---because no matter what we write, WE are reflected in the pages.

inga said...

Hi!

I am not an author, but I have read a lot of books and also reviewed few of them.

I think that weather author wants it or not, some of the author's personality is still mirroring from her/his writing. When I read, I do not concentrate so much if the story is personal or not, but what is written and how it is written. But I do agree, that all authors give a piece of themselves into the writing. part of their soul is in it. Some of it might come from personal experience, but there is still a lot of fantasy/fiction in it too. for me as a reader, it is not important. but as a book blogger - it's slightly different story.

When I make interviews with authors I am always asking them about if it's pure fiction or based on some real existing persons or experiences. I am asking it simply out of curiosity.

I am little sad to hear that you have to hide from who you are, especially from your family. It seems hard.

Good luck with your books and with your family!

inga from http://www.ingasilbergbooks.com/

Robin said...

I would love to read your book!

Robin D
robindpdx (at) yahoo (dot) com

co wendy said...

German Federal Human Rights Policy and Humanitarian Aid Commission, told AFP Cheap LV Handbags on the Bags Louis Vuitton 30th said sentencing within civil society in Russia another blow to freedom of expression. New York-based Human Rights Watch told The Associated Press that the information given in ugg soldes this sentence is:. "Independent voice in 2015 cheap nike jordan shoes was more severe repression."In Russia, more lawyers and politicians expressed dissatisfaction cheap jordans with the wholesale jordan shoes verdict, mainly that "sentence too light." First Deputy Chairman of the State ugg Duma christian louboutin remise 50% of the unity and socio-religious organization's Commission Discount Louis Vuitton Margelov said fraudsters discount nike jordans like should be sentenced to at least eight years. High School of Economics Professor Petrov of Russia Russia-Tass said the court within a lenient Discount LV Handbags sentence purpose of a better way to control the opposition, "This uggs on sale is a delicate game, the purpose is to let him become a hero Informal and opposition leaders and become a sign christian louboutin shoes of anti-government. "after fame within the Internet cheap christian louboutin blog, Twitter, and "Facebook" and other social networking sites to expose Russia more than a Christian Louboutin Bois Dore large corruption uggs outlet case, including many government officials and Duma. Some discount christian louboutin people think he exposes social ugg pas cher ills, but also suggested christian louboutin that he Christian Louboutin Daffodile was grandstanding, won the Cheap Louis Vuitton Handbags goodwill of the ugg australia West for their own profit at the same time. 2013, Nawa Air Jordan 11 Gamma Blue Li inherent Moscow mayoral election vote more than 27% after 51% of the current mayor Sobyanin, are considered emerging opposition ugg boots figures.

zhengjunxia said...

20150527zhengjx
coach outlet store online
burberry scarf
michael kors bag
christian louboutin outlet
gucci outlet
coach outlet
cheap ray ban sunglasses
gucci outlet
christian louboutin sale
coach outlet
coach outlet store online
cheap jerseys
kate spade
kate spade outlet
mont blanc pens
toms shoes
hollister clothing
oakley sunglasses
gucci uk
hollister clothing store

zhengjunxia said...

20150527zhengjx
coach outlet store online
burberry scarf
michael kors bag
christian louboutin outlet
gucci outlet
coach outlet
cheap ray ban sunglasses
gucci outlet
christian louboutin sale
coach outlet
coach outlet store online
cheap jerseys
kate spade
kate spade outlet
mont blanc pens
toms shoes
hollister clothing
oakley sunglasses
gucci uk
hollister clothing store

huali10 Cai said...

oakland raiders jerseys
the north face clearance
new york jets jerseys
evening dresses
green bay packers jerseys
chicago bears jerseys
toms shoes outlet online
nike air max uk
michael kors outlet online sale
new balance
burberry outlet online
ferragamo shoes
michael kors outlet
ray ban aviator sunglasses
herve leger sale
iphone 6 cases
cheap nfl jerseys
custom mlb jerseys
beats headphones
mcm backpack
marc jacobs
michael kors handbags
los angeles clippers jerseys
toms outlet
kate spade sale
louis vuitton outlet stores
lululemon outlet
abercrombie and fitch
foamposite shoes
insanity workout
rolex watches uk
air jordan shoes
gucci shoes
cheap football shirts
chanel outlet
lacoste shoes
converse shoes
zheng1237.20

Chen Jeje said...

chrome hearts online store
cheap oakleys
ralph lauren uk
cheap real jordans
michael kors handbags sale
jordans for cheap
michael kors handbags,michael kors handbags clearance,michael kors clearance
yeezy boost 350
yeezy boost 350
nfl jerseys
michael jordan shoes
fitflops clearance
yeezy boost
oakley sunglasses
kobe byrant shoes
nike dunks

Hua Cai said...

soccer jerseys
oakley sunglasses
longchamp solde
kobe shoes
cartier watches
cheap jordan shoes
christian louboutin uk
michael kors outlet
nike tn pas cher
fitflops clearance
adidas trainers
coach outlet online
mulberry uk
ray-ban sunglasses
cheap snapbacks
mulberry handbags
tiffany outlet
ralph lauren uk
michael kors handbags
oakley sunglasses sale
coach outlet
michael kors factory outlet
oakley sunglasses
jordan pas cher
longchamp handbags
pandora outlet
mulberry sale
ralph lauren polo
michael kors wholesale
polo ralph lauren
ralph lauren pas cher
juicy couture tracksuit
hollister sale
true religion jeans
ray ban sunglasses
20160628caihuali

chenmeinv0 said...

air jordans
adidas nmd
omega seamaster
ralph lauren uk
mcm backpack
reebok outlet
toms outlet
ray ban sunglasses
air jordans
ray ban wayfarer
chenyingying20170307